Pitchwars Pimp My Bio!

Hey all! This is my #PimpMyBio page for this years’ #Pitchwars competition where people around the world can enter their manuscript to compete with others of their own age category to earn the help of a personal mentor – and then move on to the Agent round! It’s an invaluable experience for writers who are looking to spit-shine that finished manuscript or just make an awesome network of fellow writers. If you’re interested in learning more, check out the lovely Brenda Drake’s post about it here. And if you are totally adoring my Pimp My Bio page, check out all of the other 252 entrants’ bios (so far) at Lana Pattinson’s how-to post here.


About Me

I am an INFJ, Taurus, Ravenclaw, House Targaryen, Earth Bender, and Whovian (Tenth Doctor!) with an affection for travel, fine wines and cheeses, and reading in grocery store lines. I get all my best ideas when I’m either hopped up on coffee or sitting in the passenger seat of a car watching the world go by. I am a lover of cold weather, hot beverages, and, ironically, my hometown of sunny San Diego, California. I currently live in the greater New York area with my husband, two dogs, two cats, and fifteen reptiles (turtles, beardies, and uromastyx).

I’m basically a huge goofball. Don’t be alarmed by my antics. I’m super serious when I need to be.

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Oh, and I LOVE to go on adventures! I’m always discovering new places and trying new things, like visiting medieval festivals, baking gooseberry tarts, and hiking up waterfalls.

This will be my third year entering Pitchwars and I’m just as excited as ever!

(It’s my first time doing a Pimp My Bio page, though. Be gentle!)

Here’s some random, totally awesome stuff about me:

  • I’ve worked on feature films including Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean (IMDB).
  • I was trained in archery by an Olympian
  • Within five years my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and I moved to six different places, including two cross country moves, with all of our pets, both cars, and a twenty-six-foot U-Haul each time. We met in California, were engaged in Louisiana, and were married in New York – and we’re still not done moving.
  • I’m doing a Bob’s Burgers Burger Book Cook-Through Challenge where I cook all those delicious joke burgers from the show. (Check it out here).
  • I caught a Pikachu the other day. I feel this is vital information.
  • I love collecting oddities. We have a taxidermy puffer fish named Barkley, a shark in formaldehyde named Brody, a necklace made of buffalo teeth, and a slew of animal skulls.
  • I was recently a Dungeon Master for the first time (I know, I know, NERD ALERT), but seriously, every writer should try being one because it’s pretty amazing creating a whole world and watching people wander through it. And it doesn’t have to be a nerdy as everyone makes it out to be.

Also, my writercat, Huxley (yep, named after the author), has been helping me write my book since he was a kitten and the book was a baby! He lays in my arms while I write. He’s basically the expert consultant on all revisions and edits, I should really put him down as co-writer.

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About My Book

There’s a darkness inside Basil, a little voice that says he’s not worth it, and when he and his talkative little sister trespass through one of their grandfather’s inventions and wind up stuck in a land where Basil’s own dreams are physically built and acted out, he finds that little voice has materialized into a Shadow monster thriving on his darkest fears. Worse, Basil’s own parents have been spotted in the Dreamworld, taken hostage by known murderers. In order to save them, protect his sister, and get back home, Basil will have to figure out how to conquer that little voice and navigate his own crumbling nightmares to find the man in charge of his Dream Council, The Great Cartographer.

Here is some random fun stuff that you’ll learn in the MS:

  • The dangers of not petting a procteria plant
  • What A.D.E.E.P.G.A.M.M.A. stands for
  • What Grandpa has hidden in his lab that Katheryn wants to play with
  • What on earth an Allichatter and a Mugwump are
  • Who Sir Knobblestein Partridge Newbury of Fishington Castle #14 is
  • What it’s like to become stranded in a desert via submarine
  • How difficult it is to learn to fly


Reasons to pick me

I’m determined and ready to get my hands dirty, to alter huge chunks of my MS and to slay every darling that pops her pretty little face into the picture. I’ve been told that my book has some serious potential, but I’m hoping to find a mentor who can bestow their wisdom upon me and help my MS find its moment in the sun. I’m ready to work hard, I’m ready for Boot Camp! If you tell my MC to do fifty push-ups, he will. If you tell my villain to take a lap and think about what he’s done, he will – begrudgingly, I’m sure. If you tell ME to cut chapter nineteen out because it’s totally useless I WILL. And if you tell me to add a scene with TAP-DANCING SPIDERS I totally will… take that into consideration, but maybe not, let’s put a pin in that.

I am looking for a mentor who can help with big picture, overall arc stuff. I would love a mentor’s opinion on my chapter endings, character growth, and any disjointed pacing issues. I would be overjoyed to find someone with good communication, who is friendly and has a good sense of humor, and will hear me out and brainstorm with me on all of our changes.

In all seriousness, I need the guidance of someone who has been here before, someone who can help me polish my MS into the pristine and shiny little jellyfish that I know it can be. (And, bonus, there’s a pet jellyfish in the book! And who could deny a jellyfish his moment to shine?)


Some Favorite Things

  • Books: Anything by Aldous Huxley and Kazuo Ishiguro, plus House of Leaves by Danielewski was AMAZING. Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Golden Compass, and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. 
  • Movies: Identity, A Knight’s Tale, Amelie, Finding Neverland, The Basketball Diaries, The Full Monty, Big Fish, and of course…
    • My biggest fandom, Harry Potter. I promise I’m not a total geek, but I do have a full Luna Lovegood cosplay and a collection of over a hundred pieces of memorabilia including a full sized Nimbus, Wizard’s Chess, and a Hogwarts Express locomotive. Don’t judge me.
  • TV: Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Lost, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Boy Meets World, House, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead
  • Music: Everything from Great Big Sea (Irish Folk) to The Adicts (77 punk) to modern hits like Stressed Out. Notables, though are Our Lady Peace, I Am Kloot, Scissor Sisters, and The Verve Pipe. 


Now who’s ready to get this Pitchwars party on Vitas style? 😀


One Response
  1. Convincing stuff. Beautiful cat. How did you work on those big films?!?! Best of luck! And if you’re in need of a CP partner, let me know. If not me, I have someone in mind who would mesh with you really well. Of course, you won’t need one once you get the mentor!

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